No one can change you… you have to change yourself.
So often women will ask me how to find their purpose, how to let go, how to be happy, how to get over their ex… The list goes on. Of course, we can help but my response is always the same – you have to want to help yourself.
There’s never any point committing time and money to something that you’re not going to use. You wouldn’t join a gym, pay your fees, never go and then expect to tone up would you?
Personal development is no different.
The truth is that you can read all the quotes in the world, follow the most inspirational people and read blog after blog but unless you’re 100% committed to changing no guidance from any life coach or therapist is going to help.
Learning to become consciously aware of your thoughts, your emotions, your ego and your behaviours is where your positive change begins, without being conscious of those things you can’t change anything!
After all, you can’t fix something that you don’t know is broken!
Trust me; becoming more mindful, more conscious and more aware of yourself takes time and is a hell of a lot easier with the support, guidance and skills from a coach that resonates with you…. But for those that want to walk the path on their own or aren’t yet sure if they’re ready, I have some advice for you.
** You’ll never be ready.
There is never a perfect time for anything! If something is calling out at you there is a damn good reason for it.
** Stop with the excuses!
The top two excuses I get are “I don’t have the time” and “I can’t afford it right now”. Women use the old “I want to but…” I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again that THING that follows that BUT is your Negative Nancy keeping you in your cozy little comfort zone and stopping you from moving onwards and upwards with your life! Where there’s a will there’s a way… I’m sure you can make time for a night out with your girls and a date with your man and I’m even more sure that you can find some cash for that coffee everyday at work so stop using BS excuses and start owning your worth.
Again, the only thing stopping you from changing is YOU.
** You’re choosing to live below the line
My number one pet hate is people complaining about their situation but not doing anything to change it. It’s 100% victim mentality. It’s blaming, denying, defending and justifying… and it’s you willingly giving away your power. I call it living below the line. When you blame, deny, defend and justify you’re not only letting your ego keep you stuck but you’re getting stuck in your story. You may as well just jump in the hole and throw yourself a pity party.
** You need to take responsibility for yourself
So, what’s the opposite of those things? It’s being accountable, responsible and taking ownership of yourself, your life, your circumstances – of every god-damn thing that you have and that happens to you because sweet pea, you are! Taking responsibility means that you start looking at yourself. So often we’re so quick to point the finger and blame other people for our lack of happiness… point your finger now… look what happens… three fingers face back at you! What we think, we create. Every damn thing that happens to you happens in your mind first. Think about it.
** You CAN fast-track your journey
This one I know all too well, why? Because I thought I could do it on my own too and because of that it took me a solid 3 years to learn the hard way that I needed help!
So many women do it. We think that we can manage on our own and because of that we commit, start off really well and then after a week or so we get caught up the busyness of our life and it all gets too hard. Then we start the cycle again and again prolonging something that can be so fast-tracked if we get the right help from the start.
(If you want to know more about fast-tracking your success CLICK HERE)
Someone that will hold us accountable, support us and guide us in the right direction! Whether your goal is to lose weight, learn a language or develop yourself – there is always someone who has succeeded at it that is skilled to show you how!
I know what it’s like to be over it, to wake up in the morning and just think ‘what’s the point today’, to dread your job, to go to bed lonely, to look in the mirror and just feel sad, to not have hobbies or goals or dreams.
But I also know what it’s like to decide that enough is enough.
To choose to honour my worth and commit to myself, to get to know who I am and love me. To be happy with what I have without having the things that I want!
No one can change you, you have to change yourself.
You have to choose to change and you have to commit.
And my most valuable piece of advice to you is: Know that you’re good enough to succeed if you put your mind to it.
With love today & always,