I’ve been sweeping a lot of feelings under the rug lately.
I keep justifying myself by saying that I’m “..too busy to deal…” and that
“…I can’t be bothered with the drama.”
Do you ever find yourself doing that too?
It’s a trait that I’ve been working on for many years.
I know I’ve improved because years ago I would have just cut the person off or avoided them for a while – NO MORE!
It’s a problem.
I know it’s a problem because those justifications come out of my mouth over and over and I continuously find myself jumping on the blame and complain train to everyone BUT the person which MAKES it a drama.
I know it’s a problem when I start to LET my ego convince me that the person doesn’t care about me, when really I know in my heart that is not the truth.
I assume that because I know them well, I know what they are thinking… but the TRUTH is that no matter how well you know someone you still can’t read their mind!
I know it’s a problem when I feel ANXIOUS AND STRESSED OUT and my shoulders and lower back tighten up, and with kids… it’s just an added stress I don’t want in my life!
It’s funny how even though we are completely aware of issues and how much pain they are causing (physically and mentally) we still choose to ignore them!!
It’s so funny how the story that we play out in our head is always worse than the reality.
We can spin a story in our head and get so justified in our thinking even though we know that it’s not coming from a loving place.
We do it because subconsciously we are PROTECTING OURSELVES from a perceived threat based on past experience.
We do it because we don’t want to end up HURT again.
And what ends up happening is that we SELF-SABOTAGE..
We ruin relationships, we let fear hold us back from being honest in a loving way and we stop ourselves from being TRULY happy.
So, yesterday (as part of my TO DO list on day one of our ONLINE COURSE) I went about starting to mend some relationships that had been a little worse for wear.
I hadn’t been being honest with a couple of people very dear to me because I was holding on to expectation, resentment and anger.
You know, one of the hardest things to do is be completely HONEST in a loving way.
But, when you are completely honest in a loving way, your words come from your heart.
You aren’t blaming and complaining – you are taking RESPONSIBILITY for the way that you’ve been feeling and you’re being honest with the person that needs to know.
And it ends up coming EASILY.
No one can make you feel anything – that’s your choice.
And it’s also your choice to deal and to change your perception.
I am already feeling lighter and happier.
Yes, it was hard (no where near as bad as I thought it would be) but like always, it was worth it.
So, I urge you to BE HONEST this week.
With yourself AND with the people in your life – in a loving way.
Set about mending ONE relationship that’s been suffering lately.
I PROMISE you will feel SO MUCH BETTER and the energy that you were using being upset/angry/avoiding the issue will be freed up for you to WELCOME IN SOMETHING MAGICAL.
Shoot me an email (firstname.lastname@example.org) and let me know how you go; I’d love to hear from you!
With love today & always,